Hayley leading up to the scan had been suffering from indescribable anxiety; constantly wading through “What If’s” and thinking the worst was about to happen to us all over again. Camille also knew what was expected of her that morning and she was desperate not to have to go. The old scans had always been easy; the happy juice down the Wiggly and Camille was asleep through the entire process, now we had to contend with the insertion of a canulla which we’ve got a big history of issues getting one into a vein. Camille is now at the age where she knows what is coming and she was pretty terrified.
So we arrived at the Paediatric Day Unit early and Camille was soon being ushered through to a small room for a young registrar to try and get a canulla in. Not to belittle the doctor but Hayley had expressed her concern to the hospital some days if not weeks before, requesting that they come up with a plan to get the canulla in and working. We were assured that the best registrar would be able to get it in; we were doubtful given the scores of failed attempts over the past two years. This was no exception; Camille was screaming, shaking and sweating uncontrollably whilst gripping onto to Hayley as the registrar tried persistently to find a vein. If you’ve ever seen a canulla insertion before, the failed attempts look so hopeful as they sit there pierced into the foot (in Camille’s case), but as they test the line with some saline the skin puffs up to show that the vein has been missed or blown when entered. The registrar had numerous attempts before given up and getting one of the consultants in to try. She managed it first time like she has before; Camille by this point was exhausted and scared.
The only ray of light for Camille was that now she was able to have the happy juice to take her mind off the trauma of the previous thirty minutes. The happy juice probably has a proper medical term, but nothing can describe it’s effect better than “happy juice”. She’s hilarious as she waits for the final push of propofol to send her off. She is like me after one too many lager shandys.
The scan took place behind closed doors and as soon as she was awake we went home awaiting the call. Foolishly we hadn’t expressly stated to Amos when we ran into him at the hospital that we wanted a call that day; so whether they had the results or not, I don’t know, but Monday afternoon came and went with no phone call and the additional build-up of crazy anxiety from Hayley. She said that even I looked worried, which is no surprise, because I was. I said to Hayley a week or two previously that I don’t worry on the days leading up to the scan but once the phone rings with Amos on the other end, that’s when my heart sinks. My heart sank without Amos even lifting a receiver.
I stayed around on the Tuesday and Hayley was struggling to motivate herself to do anything. I chased the hospital around lunchtime and it was three o’clock, while I was picking the girls up from school that the phone rang with the news. It was positive news thankfully. The scan was unchanged from the previous scan in June. There was still this little area around the brain stem that was contrasting on the scan. This was where Mr Mallucci mentioned some scar tissue from the surgeries. It may always be there I guess, causing us doubt but they’ll never know exactly what it is as they won’t go back in under the scalpel for that reason alone.
I’ve been away all last week and Hayley received another call from the hospital after they discussed Camille at their multi-disciplinary team meeting. They are all pretty pleased with where we are and have now even suggested that we go out to six monthly scans. This is a bit of a surprise but welcomed by Hayley and myself. The fewer times we have to go through those days like last week, the better.
One last thing, Hayley’s Coffee Morning’s are this week so if you’re not doing one and you’ve got a few friends and a kettle let us know and also, after mentioning the London Marathon in my last blog I managed to get some great sponsors. Thanks everyone who has already but some money down for my run. For those of you who are tempted to sponsor me, there is no better time! Search for Camille’s Appeal on Just Giving and my page should be listed somewhere on there.